As a little girl, I had no role model of a healthy relationship.

My father was an alcoholic, verbally abusive, mean to my mother, and physically abusive to me and my siblings.

He was also a womanizer, then turning around and accusing my mom of being jealous and paranoid. I prayed that my mom would leave him, but we lived humbly as it was and I now know that between cultural beliefs and financial strain, this wasn’t an option for her. Many, many days we went to bed with screaming and yelling and woke up to it as well.

My parents were very traditional from the Philippines and as I grew into a young adult, and started dating, the emphasis was for me to get married. That’s it. Get married. Not marry the right guy, not find a man who is responsible, ambitious, or caring. It was just – get married.

It was only very late in life, did I realize that I had a deep underlying belief, that I was not good enough and not worthy of anything good (I didn’t even know what “good” was in a relationship!)

Nonetheless, I dated any guy that paid any attention to me, and by 22 I was pregnant with a “nice” handsome, tall, guy. (I say tall, because my Dad did say marry someone tall actually, being Filipino we have the genetics to be short — this was his idea of marriage advice!?)

So I did get married and it was awful. I divorced him after 2 years.

And few years after that, in another long-term relationship, I was humiliated and cheated on. I was broken down and defeated.

I was at the lowest point in my life.

I somehow found it in myself to “get to work.” On deep inner work.

All my friends and family told me to take a break from men, work on myself – and they meant it with all kindness.

I took out all the tools that I had accumulated from all the self-development programs, workshops, courses, books, and videos that I had accumulated over the years, and implemented them all in my life.

Within 4 weeks, the cloud started to lift. And I felt this overwhelming sense of love for myself, that I didn’t know could be possible. I became keenly aware that I did not love or respect myself before. This brought on inspiration and healing for me.

I thought, if I deny myself a relationship then he wins. If I deny myself the love that I truly deserve then it is only I, that loses out.

I then joyfully went back to online dating, this time, with a strict protocol in place, and in 2 weeks I met him, the ONE. Upon our second date, we took down our profiles and a child and a blended family later it’s been 12 years.

Together we have built a prosperous, ever-evolving, passionate, life together – more than I could ever dream. 

The mess of life transformed me and now it’s my passion to help other women become their best selves. I’m here to guide YOU to renewal and inspiration.

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